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slimiest:

a CEO walks into his office “any messages?” he asks his assistant
“two anons want to know who tom petty is and one just says ‘post your ballsack’”
“got it. check my dashboard”
“that skeleton gif you like is back again”
he rubs his chin pensively “mm. reblog that”

pickyourheartupoffthefloor:

saidbhinluch:

istehlurvz:

tres13:

ffuwaffuwa:

I only have 4 moods:

  • fuck this
  • fuck that
  • fuck me
  • fuck you

I empathize with the above, but I have an additional 4 moods to add:

  • fuck yeah
  • fuck no
  • fuck my life
  • fuck everything

and don’t forget the inevitable 

  • fuck it

and for those who have just given up

  • fuck

this is beautiful

kitkatinc:

spelling bee administrator: you word is delicious
me: D to the E to the L I C I O U S to the D to the E to the to the to the
spelling bee administrator: hit it fergie

wawapapi69:

Kinda want to play with your hair kinda want to go down on you for 45 minutes

betarayjay:

As bad as that movie was, Jim made a good Riddler.

facts-i-just-made-up:

cocktormedick:

facts-i-just-made-up:

Mated turtles share their shells!
Not always but often when a pair of turtles mates, the male will leave his own shell and move in with the female. After doing so the couple will coordinate their arm and leg movements to walk and even swim.

I call this “Trying to get notes with false facts.”

I assure you, Facts-I-Just-Made-Up would never post false facts just to get notes. I also do it to confuse, misinform, and hurt people.

facts-i-just-made-up:

cocktormedick:

facts-i-just-made-up:

Mated turtles share their shells!

Not always but often when a pair of turtles mates, the male will leave his own shell and move in with the female. After doing so the couple will coordinate their arm and leg movements to walk and even swim.

I call this “Trying to get notes with false facts.”

I assure you, Facts-I-Just-Made-Up would never post false facts just to get notes. I also do it to confuse, misinform, and hurt people.

butt-berry:

This is the whole show

butt-berry:

This is the whole show

spankmehardbarry:

conkersradfurday:

spankmehardbarry:

i keep getting random erections today and idk why

I guess you could say it’s been a hard day.

image

sharky-bandit:

chiltonomics:

peonymoonflower:

cucumbersforlegs:

THIS NEVER FAILS TO MAKE ME LAUGH. I FEEL LIKE SHIT AND IVE SEEN THIS PICTURE A HUNDRED TIMES BUT I AM STILL LAUGHING JFC

It’s funnier to me bc I have that exact same dish

Everyone has that dish.

?????i have that dish as well?????????

sharky-bandit:

chiltonomics:

peonymoonflower:

cucumbersforlegs:

THIS NEVER FAILS TO MAKE ME LAUGH. I FEEL LIKE SHIT AND IVE SEEN THIS PICTURE A HUNDRED TIMES BUT I AM STILL LAUGHING JFC

It’s funnier to me bc I have that exact same dish

Everyone has that dish.

?????i have that dish as well?????????

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